Because everyone else was just a bit off and I’m pretty sure I got it right. You heard me. Up to this point every scholar, every passionate rebel of religious systems, every great mind was just a few degrees to the left, but I’m spot on.
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw, I’m teasing.
Before going any further, let me just get one thing straight about my doctrine, so you don’t worry too hard:
I’m confident that it will be flawed when I die.
It’s not that I won’t try real hard — I will. It’s not that I’m not thirsty to know God. I am. It’s not that I don’t really like the idea of absolute truth and knowing, I mean once and for all knowing, who is wrong and who is right — not because of pride, but because I actually just want to know.
No… I do wish I knew.
But I still think I’ll croak and be a bit wrong — or maybe a lot wrong.
I’d like to give you an even deeper peer into my brain (It’s treacherous. Buckle up).
There was a weekend a few years ago when I had this terrifying concern:
What if Jesus isn't the son of God?
You know like, in a synonymous with God kind of way. This was especially a scary to me because I was worried that if I didn’t have this aligned correctly in my brain, then I might burn in hell. I mean I wasn’t sure, but maybe.
Isn’t it safer to kind of shoo these questions away just in case it equals damnation?
Somehow I managed to let the idea pass and lock back into to what I know:
Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord
I mean a pastor told me that so… and I had this experience at church camp…and doesn’t the Bible say that?… I think it does…
Let me also talk about my boi John the Baptizer.
The Bible says this weird thing about him — that he was like the best human that would ever walk the planet.
He was Jesus’ biggest advocate. His whole mission was preparing the way for Jesus. He didn’t really have a ministry of his own; he was all about teeing up the J-man. And tee, he did. Tee he did indeed.
When Jesus finally arrived on the scene, John was all like
“YEAH HOLLER! THAT’S MY DAWG! THE PARTY CAN GET STARTED NOW!”
I’m pretty sure there were glow sticks and rave music.
Anyway, you probably know the story, but John had become such a big player is Jesus’ time (not like a pimp, but you know, like a significant character), that he got in trouble with Herod, who was king. John got locked up and wanted Jesus to bail him out, but it doesn’t happen. Then John basically asks Jesus via a letter:
“Hold on. Are you the one we’ve been waiting on or is it somebody else?”
John said that. Remember John’s whole deal was making a prophetic proclamation that the Lamb of God, savior of the world was coming. Jesus and John already had their legendary baptism moment. John’s entire life was about that. Yet from prison he doubts. And this is the guy that the Bible declares is the best dude ever. Period. End of story. No competition.
AND HE DOUBTED THAT JESUS WAS JESUS
Now, if John the baptist had some room to question if God was God, then maybe you do too. Maybe I do.
So, I’m not sure we need any more regions or denominations. But here are some things we may need more of: the humility of not knowing, the courage of asking better questions, the agility of keeping your mind open. If the worst you can do is wonder if Jesus is God… well… not to blow it for you, but it’s been done before. It’s been done by someone who was super certain at one point.
You can play the odds — that maybe you happen be the one who has all the correct answers. Or you can open your hands a bit, admit that that maybe you don’t know. You’ll be alright.
Look your concerns right in the face. Throw them at a God you don’t know is there. Do your worst.
Me and John will be in the ring with you.
Jesus, if you exist, please meet me in the place of my scariest questions, my largest doubts. If somehow you hold the universe together, then maybe you can find me here. Amen.