She’s had a few names since I started feeding her about a year ago. Somehow she stays scraggly and feral. Her eyes don’t seem to have much behind them, besides fear and a need to survive. I feel for her, I really do. That’s why I continue to buy her food and put it out for her.
But she still insists on yelling at me. Bloody murder. Everytime. “Are you going to feed me?” she shouts.
She sees me and she just cat-yells at the top of her cat lungs (I won’t calling ”meowing”, because that’s really delicate sounding. This is not delicate) Often she runs around at my feet and trips me. I want to cut her, I really do.
But I don’t. I just yell back.
“Okay! I’m doing it! I do it every time! You don’t have to yell! hush!” and she yells still... until I put out the food and she’s ramming kitty food down her kitty gullet.
And I roll my eyes and go inside.
I think about God in those times.
I imagine I’m a tiny, little kitty cat. “Heavenly Father, give me what I need! Don’t you know I have needs? Help! Help! Help! Help! I have....
bills to pay
issues with people
I’m anxious about blank!”
When I look back, it’s silly how I get all upset about the same stuff. That’s a lot of the dialogue between me and God. I’m embarrassed how much stage time my worries get.
But let me tell you something else about this kitty that I feed.
I like petting her — but she rarely lets me do it. I’m convinced she has PTSD or somethings.... C’mon, I FEED you. I go to the store and PAY FOR CAT FOOD. At least let me pet you, cat.
I wish she’d stop yelling at me about crap I already know and just let me hang out with her. Maybe let me hold her for once.
Jesus talked a bit like that. “God already knows what you need. Don’t worry so much because, by the way, that guy up there running the whole universe is a good dad, and likes giving good gifts.”
I’m still trying to work out the implication of what Jesus said. It’s massive. For me, it’s a daily paradigm shift. But I think it’s a worth-while journey — one where we discover how good and deep the Father’s love for us is. Maybe we don’t have to meow-yell at God quite as much. He already has a plan to deliver us from all the things that weigh us down and
lead us into more understanding of who is. He wants to bring us to a place where we can see past our issues and rest in the fact that maybe he just wants to kneel down and hold us.