The Bible is difficult.
It is beautiful.
It really is both. I don't know one human who is confident they understand all of it. I know many who find life, joy, solace in it.
So, if you find yourself caught in this strange paradox, then don't worry. You're not alone.
Here's a pro tip. It will always be that way, because God will always be that way: mysterious and good. Grapple with, but don't stress out about the parts you don't understand. Embrace the things you know to be true. Cling to them. It's more than a book, that Bible. Like an organism, it's living, alive and ready to interact with its reader.