Ask God questions. Ask God lots of questions. Ask God especially the ones you think you shouldn't ask him.
This is part of the school of the Holy Spirit, offering up bits of our soul (the summation of humanness) to be tempered, submitted, empower by his Spirit (the part of his river that flows through us). There are no shortcuts here. Just a long, beautiful, slow process.
As you bring questions to God and create dialogue, you'll find your questions get better because you recognize the foolish questions for what they are (But at the same time please don't try to expedite the process by skipping your foolish questions if they are truly on your heart. Ask them still. That's part of your journey. You're job isn't to figure out if the question is foolish or not, but to continually bring questions to him. I am just outlining the process. You'll eventually look over your shoulder and say "Gee, I remember when I used to ask petty questions, but I'm on a higher tier now.")
However you do not graduate from asking God for things you want. You just go deeper and truer into your desires. "But isn't Christiantiy about doing what God wants instead of what your own will wants? Didn't even Jesus say that he wanted his father's will and not his own?"
As a human Jesus' freewill chose, decided to follow God even when he didn't want to. Jesus surrendered his will and so it became like God's. But get this: it was a merging of wills not just a replacing. Jesus freely chose the Father's will, though his soul resisted it. And then they were synchronized, no abuse or coercion involved whatsoever. How else could the scriptures declare that there was joy involved in Jesus bearing the cross?
I submit that something remarkably beautiful happened on the Mount of Olives that evening. Something that is the pinnacle of human relation with God, our model being Jesus. God, who treasures freewill more than I can explain, asked, not forced his son to carry the cross, and that son said "yes." The result? They became one. Jesus then fully understood the Father's passion for humans, his Bride. This decision was acted out on the cross which marked, permiated all of humanity, time, creation.
The substance here is intimacy, what sex in all its splendor only eludes to. Two wills becoming one because they choose it. And the path to intimacy, at least in part, involves questions. Why?
Because questions create space for another's will.
"Son, will you carry this cross? "
"Father, is there another way? "
Can you see it?
So ask, ask, ask and listen, listen, listen. After a while you'll find intimacy forms like a beautiful oasis, a pleasant aroma, a sweet endless melody.